The Land Before Judgment: T-Rex

Hello everyone, my name is Judgey Fox and I am a judgmentaholic.

I judge people on their looks, their mannerisms, their way of talking, their way of eating, their way of not-eating, their way of over-eating, their way of talking while eating etc etc. Judgment is naturally unfounded and just one's delightful opinion about another person/animal/dragon's demeanor. So, when a golden opportunity to judge lays it self out in front of me like a hooker aching for a fix, who am I to metaphorically, flush it's stash?

Today's subject, Tituba (not literally Tituba the slave that was first accused of being a witch during the Salem witch trials, that Tituba got her judgment strong and true)

I can't decide if this is racist or not?

Tituba is the name Foxy has given to one of my University tutors, her name sounds strangely similar to Tituba even though she is neither black nor a slave, the jury is still out on whether she's a witch though. In his spare time Foxy also likes to call her T-Rex due to her tiny arms and sly-eyes. Her eyes are a real problem for me, not only are they small and slitty, Voldermort-style, but she insists on outlining them in the biggest, blackest, smudgiest eyeliner she can find on sale in Priceline (I'm taking some artistic license here in assuming she'd only buy things an sale, being a frugal economics tutor).  Now for those of you who don't know what boldly outlining something small does, it makes it look even smaller. Congratulations Tit on making your beady little eyes look even beadier. 

Squirrels, always going too heavy on the eyeliner.

Now, one would think that being a tutor one would realise that all eyes will be on you as you answer questions and draw diagrams up on the whiteboard. One would also assume that as a tutor you would not wear clothing that when viewed from behind or from a low angle would facilitate cringe-worthy feelings of nausea from your students. 

NB: It may have been only me having these feelings. 

For example; thin, tighty-whitey short shorts should not be worn with a thin black tighty-whitey (blacky didn't really fit and JF didn't want to make two racial slurs in one post) g-string when reaching up to the top corner of the board to label axes. Nor should they be worn in the presence of anybody, when one has accidentally on purpose purchased a size too small (face it Tituba you're a easy 12 down below).

To be honest, I do have a morbid fascination as to what outfit Tit will choose to wear to our weekly classes. My favourite so far is the Gaudy Grecian Goddess: a mustard coloured maxi dress, gold strappy sandals, ones that once the subject is sitting can be seen snaking up the leg ballet dancer style, matching gold headband, drop earrings, bangles, necklace and rings. First of all, mustard should only be seen in one place and that's on my sandwiches, second of all gold snaking straps barely look good on ballet dancers and let's face it Tit, your dream of dancing Tchaikovsky went out the window when you discovered Cheezels and double choc Tim Tams. Finally matchy matchy accessories really only work when they don't look like they've fallen out of a cracker you pulled with your creepy Uncle Ben at family Christmas.  

I've considered calling Trinny and Susannah about Tit's imaginative style and many times tried to take a cheeky photo of her mega muffin-tops on my phone, but in the end I just couldn't be arsed and to put it candidly (my favourite way of putting things) Tituba is a total bitch.