Who are you judging?

Love is a fickle, fickle mistress.

It's effects are so intoxicating it can make even the most laid-back, reasonable and pragmatic person absolutely freak the fuck out and lose their shit. So, really not that dissimilar to booze.

Right in the face

 What I don't understand is when people say they're in love and they can't possibly see their lives with out the other person, they occupy their every waking thought, they wake up thinking about the other person and go to sleep at night doing the same. But then they go out on the weekend, have a few shots and casually bang someone else.

Is this love? Is this all-consuming, passionate, can't-live-without-each other love?

One minute they could be proclaiming their undying love for each other and the next, one of them is pulling on their jeans as they're hopping out the door of their latest one night stands.

A friend of mine is currently in a long-distance relationship. He lives on one side of the country and his partner lives on the other. They didn't start off with the most solid of relationships, he was consistently seeing other people during the formative months, however now he considers the relationship "excusive" and has done for a year or so.

NB: "Exclusive" being he's cheated on her intermittently over the life of their relationship - but she's still the "one"

So, he's thinking this is it, this is the girl I'm going to marry and spend the rest of my life with. I'm going to quit my well-paying job and move cross-country for her. As he's telling me this I'm thinking great. Settle down, have kids, do whatever it is you people want to do. But it's what isn't said that's ringing alarm bells for me.

Who? I dunno, I just woke up and they were here!

This guy, who has apparently found his dream-girl, who regularly scrolls through pictures of engagement rings wondering which one she'd prefer, is the same guy who can't wait to tell me about this "hot little thing" that he took to bed the night before. And apparently this sort of thing is happening more often than we know - and not just with one gender, women do it to.

What do people think they're playing at? They say they've found their partner for life, the one they will always want to be with, but can't bear to be without their nookie on the side. I don't know about you but isn't that warning enough to say that maybe, they're not the right one for you and that you shouldn't settle right now just because it's easy to do so?

I dunno. People are weird.

I judge so much I want to shout it from the rooftops!!

As my friends and I disastrously fumble towards our mid-20's, its becoming more and more apparent to me that these next years are to be used to effectively search out a mate, trick them into thinking your able to be fallen in love with, and then somehow etch out a satisfying and stable life for ourselves.

This "pairing-off pressure", which traditionally came from our parents or grandparents, is now coming from a different, more lateral source - smug couples of the same age. 

Smug off you smugging smugs

It's bad enough seeing people's relationship statuses on Facebook constantly ping-pong from "single" to "in a relationship" then back to "single" again all in the space of a couple of months. But what's worse is that when they're in these relationships,  they constantly vomit endless blabber about how proud they are of their hubby or how spoilt they got "just because". They then go on to patronise their Facebook followers by hoping that everyone, someday, will find a love like theirs. 

Pass the bucket. 

It's fucking fabulous that you got pampered on Valentine's Day, or if on your birthday your partner completely covered the bed in rose petals and then yourself in chocolate, before embarking on a wild night of passionate and animalistic sex. But, however much people comment on your updates with things like "That's so sweet babes, I'm so happy for you!!!!!!", remember one thing: No one really gives a shit. 

And they especially don't give a shit when you wish it for them with remarks like "You'll find someone some day sweetheart, I just know it!". What I don't want to hear about is how someday I might find someone who can stand to be around me for extended periods of time and who might consider staying with me for the foreseeable future. I don't need someone of the same age telling me that I'll probably maybe be happy like them someday. 

Why can't these girls (lets be honest it's mostly girls I'm talking about here) just be content having a "great" relationship with the person thats actually in said relationship, and not, the whole of Facebook? Why, for some people, must there always be this desire for public attention as an amazing and happy couple? And, for my last rhetorical question, shouldn't the only people who's opinion matter about the relationship be of the people actually partaking in the relationship? 

It mystifies me. 

And as the late Maggie Thatcher put it, "If you have to tell people you are, you aren't".